


Lonely ghost

by FanFicReader01



Series: Strangerverse [3]
Category: Poets of the Fall
Genre: Ficlet, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Oneshot, Pain, Sad, dont want feels dont read, giles corey - Freeform, if you want to stay with that happy ending dont read, kid Jani
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 19:20:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11470035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFicReader01/pseuds/FanFicReader01
Summary: Set prior to the events of Strangers Like Me.Some sort of oneshot inspired by the song Blackest Bile from Giles Corey





	Lonely ghost

_I am born to be alone,_

 

_I am just some lonely ghost_

 

 

From the day I was born, I was cursed, “Mother” told me. No one would ever love an ugly child like me, she said.

Only the Monster “loved” me. And I, too, knew that I couldn’t be loved by anybody but the Monster. Even if his vision of love was sick and twisted.

Knowing this heart crushing fact, made me accept my lone existence.

 

I didn’t go to school anymore. The only friend I ever had, broke our friendship after I had a fight with him on purpose. Making him my enemy before leaving school would only make it more easier for me to let him go. Besides, this way I knew the Monster could never and would never hurt him.

 

Now I feel like I’m just some lonely ghost. I wander through the few hallways of the House.

I look at the old paint coming off the ceiling and walls. I stare aimlessly at the fading photographs on the walls in the small kitchen. I glare out of the small window in my small room and wonder if God is real.

No one in this House really sees me. I know talking won’t help getting noticed. In fact, it only worsens everything. I’d probably get a beating if I do only the slightest thing of parting my lips.

 The “conversations” I have cannot be called normal conversations. Most of the time it’s just “Mother” telling me to fuck off.

 

‘Good morning, mother.’

‘Fuck off, I don’t want to see your face this early in the morning.’

 

‘Get your ugly appearance out of the kitchen. I’m cooking!’

‘Alright, mother.’

 

‘Will you do me a favour and shut the fuck up, please?’

‘I didn’t-’

‘You’re doing it again!’

‘I’m sorry, mother. I will go now.’

 

‘When will you get your lazy ass off the couch while I’m working hard to get the house cleaned, huh? Get up or I’ll ask your father to teach you a darn lesson!’

 ‘I didn’t meant to. I’m sorry, mother. What can I do to help out?’

‘Now that I think of it. You’re a good for nothing, Jani. Do you even realize?’

‘Every day, mother.’

 ‘Good, now fuck off.’

 

So most of the time I remain silent. I just stand around in the house, watching life go by without me.

If I look out of the window and into the streets, I see other poor people and I see violence and I smell alcohol and blood.

But if I look at the bigger picture, this ghost life is good. I should be glad I get ignored by the persons I should call parents.

Every day I hope I will just disappear, dissolve into nothingness and become a real ghost so no one can actually touch me _or_ see me.


End file.
